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In an era corrupted by imperalist lies and capitalist deceit, your glorious news website shines like the sun. The people rejoice as your broadcast enlightens even the darkest corners of the internet. Long live your journalistic revolution!

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Supreme Newscaster of the (bilingual) People's Eternal Broadcasting Service and co-CE & O (Chief Editor & Officer) of NNC

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Amidst Boom in Infidelity Dramas, Indonesian Studio Adapts Coldplay Concert Scandal for Film
//
Di Tengah Tren Drama Perselingkuhan, Studio Mengadaptasi Skandal Konser Coldplay Menjadi Film

Full article (ID & EN below) at www.ngaconews.com:

JAKARTA – Riding the wave of Indonesia’s obsession with domestic adultery drama, evidenced by hits like Norma and Ipar Adalah Maut, local studio Mau Maut Studios has announced their next blockbuster: Rekan Adalah Maut (Colleague is Deadly).

The film promises to "localize and dramatize" the infamous Coldplay concert scandal from earlier this year, where a prominent US Tech CEO was captured on the stadium camera in an embrace with his Head of HR.

"Indonesians love scandals, especially when they involve real-life cheating spouses," said the Head of Mau Maut Studios during a chaotic press conference. "We are, of course, localizing the affair into an Indonesian context—likely set in an SCBD startup—but it remains 'based on a true story,' just like all the best adultery dramas. If they made Hachiko, the true story of a Japanese dog into a Richard Gere movie, then we can too."

Discussions are already underway to adapt Rekan Adalah Maut into a spin-off TV series, following the success of the Ipar Adalah Maut TV series adaptation in November 2025. However, Mau Maut Studios has far grander ambitions. They officially unveiled plans for the "ICU" (Infidelity Cinematic Universe), a Marvel-style franchise where unfaithful husbands and betrayed wives from different movies will eventually cross over in a massive ensemble event.

The movie is currently in production with a tentative release date of 2026, though the studio admits the schedule will depend entirely on when the next viral affair. "Rekan Adalah Maut is only the beginning," the studio declared. "The extra bonus? We are finalizing agreements with Coldplay to provide the official soundtrack."

Breaking from NNC (Ngaco News Coi):

Agency Behind Music Royalties Launches Its Own Band to Collect Even More Royalties
//
Lembaga Pengelola Royalti Bentuk Band Sendiri untuk Menarik Lebih Banyak Royalti

Full article (ID & EN below) at www.ngaconews.com:

In a bid to expand its revenue streams, Indonesia’s National Collective Management Agency (LMKN) has unveiled its very own music group—ensuring it now collects royalties not just for others, but also for itself.

After obtaining 2.2 billion rupiah in royalties from noodle chain, Mie Gacoan for unpaid royalties from playing local music in their spaces, LMKN's newly formed band, named Royal-Tea, will perform exclusively original songs written and published under the agency’s umbrella. In an unusual twist, all 50 members of the group are drawn from LMKN’s senior management.

According to insiders, every café play, and ringtone featuring Royal-Tea’s tracks will flow directly into the agency’s coffers, bypassing the existing royalty-collection system that traditionally collects royalties on behalf of the local musicians.

“This is efficiency,” said an LMKN spokesperson. “Why chase external royalties when we can create and collect from our own music? We’ll still collect royalties on behalf of Indonesian musicians, but for this week only during our nationwide promotional tour, we’re offering special discounts on royalties from our Royal-Tea songs.”

Local cafés and commercial venues, already grappling with rising licensing fees, are weighing their options. One café owner, who requested anonymity, admitted: “Honestly, I’ll probably switch from local musicians to LMKN's music. The royalties are cheaper, and their music isn’t that bad. For a government agency, they’ve got surprisingly decent singers.”

Man Wins Big in Judol - Loses Twice the Amount 10 Minutes Later
//
Pria Menang Besar di Judol - Kehilangan Dua Kali Lipat 10 Menit Kemudian

Full article (ID & EN below) at www.ngaconews.com:

In a cruel twist, Pak Hoaksono, a 30 year old from Jakarta, won Rp 25 million playing judol (online gambling), only to lose it and another Rp 50 million ten minutes later. “I thought I could win more after my big hit, but ten minutes later, I’d lost double,” Pak Hoaksono said. “Maybe it was an unlucky judol site.”

Indonesia’s judol epidemic is staggering, with the 2023 PPATK report citing Rp 327 trillion in transactions from 4 million players, including children. PPATK warns losses could reach Rp 1,000 trillion by 2025 if unchecked. A 2023 Populix survey found 84% of internet users see judol ads on Instagram and YouTube, luring players like Pak Hoaksono, who try to double or nothing.

Instead of stepping away, Pak Hoaksono joined a Telegram group called “Judol Winners 4 Life,” where users shared tips and and advice on what could influence slot outcomes. “One guy said if you play during maghrib, your luck doubles,” he said. “So I tried that. It didn’t work.”

Ready to quit, Pak Hoaksono spotted an Instagram ad from a politician with initials B.A., promoting a judol site: “Deposit now, win 50% of your deposit!” The fine print? “Your total deposit is almost guaranteed to lose 100%—terms apply.”

Breaking from NNC:

Indonesia Won’t Freeze Dormant Bank Accounts Holding Corrupt Funds, Relieved Minister Confirms
//
Tidak ada bembekukan rekening bank dorman berisi dana korupsi, konfirmasi Menteri dengan lega

Full article (ID & EN below) at www.ngaconews.com:

A visibly relieved minister has confirmed that Indonesia’s latest push to freeze dormant bank accounts will not apply to accounts holding corruption money. The initiative, led by the Financial Transaction Reports and Analysis Center (PPATK), is "designed to protect the public — and that includes corrupt officials,” the minister explained, while scrolling through his phone to find where he downloaded his seven mobile banking apps.

Under the new policy, accounts that have remained inactive for three to twelve months may be frozen. However, funds are reportedly still “safe” and can be reclaimed if the account owner submits an objection form to PPATK. The form, available at http://bit.ly/FormHensem, was inaccessible at the time of publication, possibly due to heavy traffic.

“PPATK is doing incredible work and certainly keeping themselves busy,” the minister added. “Besides looking for bank accounts with suspicious or criminal activity. they're now also looking for dormant bank accounts! They've got a lot of work ahead of them!"

When asked if it means the minister who is a corrupt suspect, whether his bank account will be investigated due to suspicious or criminal activity. "Of course not. There's no suspicious activity because there's no activity at all. It's just dormant because I had to leave it alone for a while after you media guys kept talking about me."

“Kenapa Suap?” Tanya Pejabat Bingung Setelah Proses Persetujuan Disederhanakan dengan 100 Halaman, Waktu Setahun, Dan Perlu Bertanda Tangan 50 Orang

“Why Bribe?” Asks Confused Official After Streamlined 100-Page, Year-Long, Multi-Signature Approval Process

Full article (ID & EN below) at www.ngaconews.com:

JAKARTA — In a stunning show of bureaucratic efficiency, a government official has expressed confusion over recent bribery allegations, insisting that the current permit approval process is “already fast, clear, and deeply user-friendly.”

The official pointed out that applicants only need to submit a 100-page document, complete 27 supporting forms, and wait a mere 11 months for a response from the official's seven involved agencies. “With our three in-person interviews required and only four signatures from each of our agency's team, the process basically runs itself,” he said. “Why would anyone bribe?”

The official concluded on an optimistic note, promising that next year, the document requirement will be reduced to 85 pages and the waiting time shortened to 10 months as part of the “Indonesia Fast Permit” initiative currently in development. “We’re constantly innovating. We've just launched an online portal that works 70% of the time."

When asked specifically about sugar import permits, the official clarified: “Those actually move faster than the average Indonesian permit. That’s because sugar falls under two key national initiatives — the ‘Indonesia Fast Program’ and the ‘Remove Political Opponent Fast Program.’”

He went on to explain that while the sugar permit process still technically requires multiple steps and agency approvals, "if let's say, there's a random Indonesian official, like a trade minister that needs to be taken away publicly, then the process and system can move very quickly."

At the time of this publication however, the online portal to the Indonesia Fast Program and Remove Political Opponent Fast Program remained inaccessible due to heavy rain.

Besides Boeing Jets, Indonesia - US trade deal to also include Trump merchandise

Selain Jet Boeing, Perjanjian Perdagangan Indonesia-AS Juga Termasuk Merchandise Trump

Full article (EN&ID) at : https://www.ngaconews.com/en/post/besides-boeing-jets-indonesia-us-trade-deal-to-also-include-trump-merchandise

"Budi Aries Tolak Tuduhan Dapat Uang dari Judi Online: ‘Mau 50% gimana, nomor togel aja salah semua!’"

Former Minister Budi Arie Denies Taking 50% Cut from Gambling Ring: “We Blew It All on the Wrong Togel Numbers!”

Full English and Bahasa articles found at www.ngaconews.com (https://www.ngaconews.com/post/budi-aries-tolak-tuduhan-dapat-uang-dari-judi-online-mau-50-gimana-nomor-togel-aja-salah-semua / https://www.ngaconews.com/en/post/former-minister-budi-arie-denies-taking-50-cut-from-gambling-ring-we-blew-it-all-on-the-wrong-tog)

Peace Talks Move to Bali as Russians and Ukrainians Find Canggu the Only Place They Can Get Along / Peace Talk Pindah ke Bali: Rusia dan Ukraina Nilai Canggu Satu-Satunya Tempat Mereka Bisa Berteman

CANGGU, BALI - In a surprising twist in global diplomacy, Russians and Ukrainians have reportedly begun informal peace talks in Canggu. The Indonesian government, in a strategic diplomatic move, helped facilitate the dialogue, and as one official puts it, “It turns out Canggu might be the only place where Russians and Ukrainians can meet, talk, and even become friends.”
Full article here : https://www.ngaconews.com/en/post/peace-talks-move-to-bali-as-russians-and-ukrainians-find-canggu-the-only-place-they-can-get-along

Article in Bahasa here:
Peace Talk Pindah ke Bali: Rusia dan Ukraina Nilai Canggu Satu-Satunya Tempat Mereka Bisa Berteman
https://www.ngaconews.com/post/peace-talk-pindah-ke-bali-rusia-dan-ukraina-temukan-canggu-satu-satunya-tempat-mereka-bisa-berteman

Jessica Wongso Launches New Coffee Shop “Espresswongso” — Cyanide Free Ice Coffee

Jessica Wongso Meluncurkan Kedai Kopi Baru “Espresswongso” — Es Kopi Bebas Sianida

Full Article (in EN & ID): https://www.ngaconews.com/post/jessica-wongso-meluncurkan-kedai-kopi-baru-espresswongso-es-kopi-bebas-sianida

AI or just Indonesian fishermen? VCs Say eFishery Took a Page from Builder.ai / AI atau Hanya Nelayan Indonesia? Investor Sebut eFishery Meniru Solusi Analog Builder.ai

Full Article (in EN & ID): https://www.ngaconews.com/en/post/ai-atau-hanya-nelayan-indonesia-investor-sebut-efishery-meniru-solusi-analog-builder-ai

JAKARTA - Dalam sebuah kejadian yang mengejutkan, orang terkaya di Asia secara resmi mengadopsi Bobby Saputra, pewaris pria terkaya ke-7 di Asia, William Saputra. Keputusan ini diambil setelah video media sosial yang viral menunjukkan kesulitan Bobby di bawah asuhan ayahnya.

Meskipun menerima $10.000 untuk pelajaran bahasa, beberapa Ferrari gratis, dan hanya satu Rolls Royce, orang terkaya di Asia merasa bahwa Bobby pantas mendapatkan lebih.

"Menonton video TikTok William Saputra yang terus-menerus membatasi potensi Bobby dengan sumber daya yang begitu sedikit sangatlah menyedihkan," kata sebuah sumber dekat dengan keluarga orang terkaya di Asia. "Anak itu jelas membutuhkan bimbingan finansial yang lebih baik."

Bobby Saputra merilis pernyataan singkat: "Sejak kecil, ayah saya dikenal sangat hemat—setiap pengeluaran selalu dipertanyakan, dan setiap pembelian menjadi bahan diskusi. Pengalaman itu meskipun sulit mengajarkan saya banyak pelajaran hidup. Hari ini, setelah diadopsi oleh individu terkaya di Asia, situasi saya berubah secara drastis. Saya bersyukur atas kesempatan ini. One trillion China points."

English Version
In a surprising turn of events, Asia's richest person has officially adopted Bobby Saputra, the heir of Asia's 7th richest man, William Saputra. The decision came after viral social media videos showed Bobby’s hardships under his father's care.

Despite receiving $10,000 for language lessons, a couple of free Ferraris, and only one Rolls Royce, Asia's richest person felt that Bobby deserved more.

"Watching the constant TikTok videos of William Saputra limit Bobby's potential with such meager resources was heartbreaking," a close source to the family of Asia's richest person said. "The boy clearly needed better financial nurturing."

Bobby Saputra released a short statement: "Growing up, my father was incredibly stingy—every expense was questioned, and every purchase was a debate. That experience although difficult taught me many life lessons. Today, after being adopted by Asia's richest individual, the circumstances have changed dramatically. I'm grateful for the opportunity. One trillion China points."

JAKARTA – The Supreme Court of Indonesia has verified the authenticity of former President Joko Widodo’s forestry diploma from Gadjah Mada University. Allegations of a forged degree, first raised in 2016, led to legal disputes and public scrutiny. In actual fact, the National Police’s has already forensically confirmed in May 2025 the authenticity but the Court felt compelled to review in order to settle the manner.

The court’s analysis confirmed the diploma’s paper, ink, and signatures match university records. Jokowi expressed relief, stating the ruling upholds his integrity. The decision is expected to resolve ongoing civil lawsuits.

In related news, Gibran Rakabuming Raka, Jokowi’s son and Vice President of Indonesia, was appointed a Supreme Court judge hours earlier, following a sudden change in the court’s eligibility requirements. Gibran replaces Jokowi's brother in law, Anwar Usman who was a former Supreme Court judge.

JAKARTA - Jessica Wongso, yang pernah menjadi pusat perhatian dalam kasus es kopi di Indonesia, kini telah menukar ruang sidang dengan biji kopi. Kafe barunya, Espresswongso, menjanjikan seduhan kopi Vietnam yang kental dan “sangat nikmat sampai bisa masuk surga." Slogannya? Es Kopi 100% Aman dan Halal - Dijamin Bebas Sianida.

Dengan dekorasi minimalis dan para barista yang dilatih untuk tidak pernah meninggalkan minuman tanpa pengawasan, Espresswongso kembali menarik kerumunan pengunjung yang penasaran dan perhatian media. “Kami tidak hanya ingin menyajikan kopi, tetapi juga menyajikan kepercayaan, satu per satu cangkir ,” ujar Jessica dalam sebuah wawancara media baru-baru ini, sambil menambahkan, “ini tentang kesempatan kedua... dan shot espreso kedua.”

Menariknya, Wongso bukan satu-satunya mantan selebriti ruang sidang yang beralih ke bisnis kafein. Nama-nama terkenal seperti mantan terduga teroris Bali Umar Patek juga telah menemukan kesempetan kedua yang mengejutkan di balik mesin espreso. Sebagian melihatnya sebagai rehabilitasi; yang lain menyebutnya tren franchise paling menarik di Indonesia.

Selebriti ruang sidang lainnya, khususnya para tersangka korupsi, juga tampaknya ikut meramaikan: Johnny G. Plate baru-baru ini membuka Johnny Plate of Donuts with Coffee, dan Setya Novanto meluncurkan kedai kopi barunya, Kafe e-KTP (“Kopi Tersangka Permanen”).

AI or just Indonesian fishermen? VCs Say eFishery Took a Page from Builder.ai's analogue solutions
(ID Version Available in Website)

BANDUNG - In a stunning revelation similar to UK’s Builder.ai's playbook of employing 700 engineers to manually perform what clients believed was AI work, investors have discovered that Indonesian aquatech startup eFishery used the exact same strategy - except they hired traditional fishermen equipped with nets and a really good WhatsApp group chat to manually catch fish for clients who thought they were paying for "AI and tech powered fishing solutions."

The discovery came to light when Qatar Investment Authority, a major investor in Builder.ai, and Singapore's Temasek Holdings, which backed eFishery, held a Sovereign Wealth Fund Tech Disasters Summit to compare notes on their tech investments.

"We started noticing some interesting parallels between Builder.ai's 'AI engineers' and eFishery's 'algorithmic fishing solutions,'" said a source close to both sovereign wealth funds. "Turns out, just like Builder.ai hired hundreds of engineers to manually code what they claimed was AI-generated, eFishery hired hundreds of fishermen to manually catch what they claimed was algorithmically optimized."

According to leaked internal documents, eFishery's revolutionary "machine learning fish prediction models" were actually Pak Budi, a 67-year-old fisherman from Lampung, who could predict fish movements by looking at water color and wind patterns. "I've done this countless times in my usual pond until someone from eFishery approached me," said Pak Budi.

The company's "automated aquaculture management system" was revealed to be a network of experienced fish farmers who received customer requests via a custom app and then... went fishing the old-fashioned way.

In response to the revelations, Danatara issued a statement: "We're grateful we dodged this bullet. While our neighbors learn from their mistakes, we've been busy identifying the next billion-dollar unicorn. Probably”

RUU TNI Perluas Dwifungsi: Tentara Akan Mengajar TK di Tengah Pemotongan Anggaran Pendidikan

JAKARTA – Di tengah pemotongan drastis anggaran pendidikan dan kontroversi seputar RUU TNI yang baru, pemerintah Indonesia meluncurkan solusi paling berani sejauh ini:

Menugaskan tentara aktif sebagai guru TK.

Langkah yang belum pernah terjadi sebelumnya ini bertujuan untuk mengisi kekosongan besar akibat menyusutnya anggaran pendidikan.

Sersan Budi, seorang veteran dengan 15 tahun pengalaman yang lebih akrab dengan misi di hutan daripada kotak jus, kini memimpin sebuah kelas di Jakarta—menukar senapan dengan penggaris dan meneriakkan perintah saat jam tidur siang. “Latihan tempur dan militer memang berat, tapi tidak ada yang mempersiapkan saya untuk negosiasi tidur siang,” kata Sersan Budi.

Masyarakat Indonesia yang awalnya menyuarakan kekhawatiran besar atas perluasan peran militer dalam pemerintahan sipil melalui RUU TNI, kini menyaksikan dampak tak terduga: tantrum anak-anak TK menurun dan tingkat kehadiran guru meningkat. “Kalau militer memang mau ambil alih fungsi sipil, lebih baik mereka tangani fungsi paling penting—guru TK,” kata seorang orang tua Indonesia.

Pemerintah kini mempertimbangkan perluasan lebih lanjut, membayangkan tabel perkalian dan huruf alfabet diajarkan dengan presisi dan disiplin ala militer. Meski kebijakan makan siang gratis nasional menekan anggaran pendidikan secara besar-besaran, tambahan fungsi dalam RUU TNI ini justru mengurangi beban finansial terhadap sumber daya pendidikan.

Tentara seperti Sersan Budi, meskipun merasa anak TK lebih sulit diatur daripada calon prajurit, mulai menerima peran sipil barunya. “Kamuflase militer dulu identik dengan latihan dan operasi militer,” kata Sersean Budi. “Sekarang, itu bagian dari kurikulum finger painting di TK.”

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Hoaks Website Terpercaya - An Indonesian Parody News Site

What they’re saying

Ngaco News Central

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Featured Articles

Tidak akan membekukan rekening bank dorman berisi dana korupsi, konfirmasi Menteri dengan lega

Jessica Wongso Meluncurkan Kedai Kopi Baru “Espresswongso” — Es Kopi Bebas Sianida

AI atau Hanya Nelayan Indonesia? Investor Sebut eFishery Meniru Solusi Analog Builder.ai

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Latest News

Di Tengah Tren Drama Perselingkuhan, Studio Mengadaptasi Skandal Konser Coldplay Menjadi Film

Lembaga Pengelola Royalti Bentuk Band Sendiri untuk Menarik Lebih Banyak Royalti

Pria Menang Besar di Judol - Kehilangan Dua Kali Lipat 10 Menit Kemudian

Tidak akan membekukan rekening bank dorman berisi dana korupsi, konfirmasi Menteri dengan lega

“Kenapa Suap?” Tanya Pejabat Bingung Setelah Proses Persetujuan Disederhanakan dengan 100 Halaman, Waktu Setahun, Dan Perlu Bertanda Tangan 50 Orang

Selain Jet Boeing, Perjanjian Perdagangan Indonesia-AS Juga Termasuk Merchandise Trump

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Politics

Lembaga Pengelola Royalti Bentuk Band Sendiri untuk Menarik Lebih Banyak Royalti

“Kenapa Suap?” Tanya Pejabat Bingung Setelah Proses Persetujuan Disederhanakan dengan 100 Halaman, Waktu Setahun, Dan Perlu Bertanda Tangan 50 Orang

Economy

Tidak akan membekukan rekening bank dorman berisi dana korupsi, konfirmasi Menteri dengan lega

Selain Jet Boeing, Perjanjian Perdagangan Indonesia-AS Juga Termasuk Merchandise Trump

Technology

AI atau Hanya Nelayan Indonesia? Investor Sebut eFishery Meniru Solusi Analog Builder.ai

Gossip

Di Tengah Tren Drama Perselingkuhan, Studio Mengadaptasi Skandal Konser Coldplay Menjadi Film

Lembaga Pengelola Royalti Bentuk Band Sendiri untuk Menarik Lebih Banyak Royalti

Promoted Articles

Di Tengah Tren Drama Perselingkuhan, Studio Mengadaptasi Skandal Konser Coldplay Menjadi Film

Lembaga Pengelola Royalti Bentuk Band Sendiri untuk Menarik Lebih Banyak Royalti

Pria Menang Besar di Judol - Kehilangan Dua Kali Lipat 10 Menit Kemudian

Startup

AI atau Hanya Nelayan Indonesia? Investor Sebut eFishery Meniru Solusi Analog Builder.ai

Social

Di Tengah Tren Drama Perselingkuhan, Studio Mengadaptasi Skandal Konser Coldplay Menjadi Film

Pria Menang Besar di Judol - Kehilangan Dua Kali Lipat 10 Menit Kemudian

Legal

Tidak akan membekukan rekening bank dorman berisi dana korupsi, konfirmasi Menteri dengan lega

“Kenapa Suap?” Tanya Pejabat Bingung Setelah Proses Persetujuan Disederhanakan dengan 100 Halaman, Waktu Setahun, Dan Perlu Bertanda Tangan 50 Orang

International

Selain Jet Boeing, Perjanjian Perdagangan Indonesia-AS Juga Termasuk Merchandise Trump

Peace Talk Pindah ke Bali: Rusia dan Ukraina Nilai Canggu Satu-Satunya Tempat Mereka Bisa Berteman